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Can Bill Hall Pitch?

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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#61

Posted: May 10, 2006, 1:55 PM Post
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BBQ Lefty
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The reason baseball players wear gloves is because Bill Hall throws so hard.

Except Bill Hall. He wears a glove so the other players don't feel bad.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#62

Posted: May 10, 2006, 2:22 PM Post
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"We once had a bachelor party for Billy Hall. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it!"


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#63

Posted: May 10, 2006, 3:10 PM Post
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- Bill Hall can throw a 97 mph slider...with his foot.
- Bud Selig fought to keep Bill Hall out of the WBC, saying "we're trying to build bridges between nations, not crush them 500 feet to dead center".
- Bill Hall turned down a CIA offer of $5 billion to capture Osama Bin Laden, saying that anyone who throws less than 95 is too easy to take out.
-Bill Hall once hit a Nobel Prize winning doctor with his bat. That doctor is Ronnie Woo-Woo.
-Bill Hall considers chin music to be an aphrodisiac.
-Pitchers don't walk Bill Hall because of baseball strategy, they do it out of fear for what he'll do if they make him run.
-Doug Melvin didn't shave his moustache, he lost it when he bet Bill Hall he couldn't jump and touch Miller Park's roof.
-Wilt Chamberlain's fatal heart attack was caused by the revelation of how many women Bill Hall has been with.
-"The Mercy Rule" has been renamed "The Bill Hall Rule".
-Bill Hall once played 11 positions in the same game.
-The knuckle ball only occurs because the ball gets nervous about Bill Hall.
-Bill Hall hit a 600 foot homer for show and tell in kindergarten.
-Bill Hall's fastball has been recorded at 105 mph...2 seconds after it touches the catcher's mitt.
-Barry Bonds doesn't wear body armor to protect himself from pitches, he wears it to protect himself from Bill Hall.
-Bill Hall once hit a ball of Dennis Eckersley so hard that his mullet fainted.
-Ben Sheets did not stop shaving, he stopped letting Bill Hall touch his face.
-Steve Sparks did not try to tear a phonebook, he tried arm wrestling Bill Hall.
-Russell Branyan wears the shades out of fear for what would happen if he looked directly at Bill Hall.
-Julio Franco is only able to keep playing because Bill Hall likes talking to him at first.
-The MLBPA has recently renamed itself "friends of Bill Hall".
-Bill Hall hit a ball so hard off the Coke Bottle at Pac Bell that it turned into Crystal Pepsi.
-The Cincinnati Reds didn't build the Great American Ballpark because they wanted a new stadium, they had to build it because Bill Hall got mad and destroyed Riverfront Stadium after striking out.
-Bill Hall was told he couldn't join myspace because the site will crash once someones "friends" total reaches 10 Billion.
-When Bill Hall misbehaves, the commisioners' office is suspended for 15 games.
-The Baseball Hall of Fame is changing it's name to "Bill Hall's Scrap Book", the Rock n Roll Hall of fame plans to follow suit in 2007.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#64

Posted: May 10, 2006, 3:32 PM Post
Posts: 66
The most popular baby names for 2005:
boys--Bill Hall.
girls--Bill Hall.

Bill Hall taught Dr. J to dunk. He taught Mark Spitz to swim. He taught chickens to lay eggs.

Bill Hall donated to Herbert Hoover a toenail he broke kicking Hitler's buttocks. Now the Colorado River stops somewhere in Nevada.

Bill Hall invented the internet.

A rabbi, a priest, and Bill Hall walk into a bar. You know the rest.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#65

Posted: May 10, 2006, 3:59 PM Post
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BBQ Lefty
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The suicide squeeze was invented to keep Bill Hall from throwing the runner out at home.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#66

Posted: May 10, 2006, 4:13 PM Post
Posts: 2344
Location: Team Tosa
The warning track wasn't coined to let outfielders know where they are, but so the wall can prepare for Bill Hall

The only reason there is an off season is because Bill Hall wanted others to regain confidence


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#67

Posted: May 10, 2006, 11:41 PM Post
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Bill Hall does not need a vehicle...he transports himself.

The US wants to go to Mars...Bill Hall has already been there.

Bill Hall once was napping in the clubhouse during a game, was called up to pinch hit, and hit a game winning home run!

Bill Hall once made a spectacular catch in centerfield, runs in to second base, tags the guy at second out, then runs and tags the guy at first out. The players on base were in awe of Bill Hall.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#68

Posted: May 10, 2006, 11:53 PM Post
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Awesome thread -- good job by all contributors. I love the photoshop work -- Someone (with way more skills than me) should build a page that takes the best "facts" and pictures and puts them all in one place. I am sure it would get noticed. This thread will generate a lot of chuckles in the future.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#69

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:01 AM Post
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- I heard that Bill Hall was eating at a diner, and when some dude dropped a spoon Bill Hall taught the whole town how to turn a double play.
- In a 'fight-to-the-death' cagematch between Chuck Norris and Steven Segal, Bill Hall would prevail.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a BillHallarchy.
- Bill Hall does not get frostbite. Bill Hall bites frost.
- Bill Hall can slam a revolving door.
- Bill Hall doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- When Bill Hall does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.
- Bill Hall counted to infinity - twice.
- Bill Hall is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms.
- Bill Hall doesn't go shopping, shops go Bill Halling.
- When Bill Hall was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he hit the store so hard with his bat it became a Wendy's.
- When Bill Hall calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- Bill Hall CAN believe it's not butter.
- When taking the SAT, write "Bill Hall" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
- Bill Hall has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 2003 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- Nobody does it like Sara Lee. Except Bill Hall.
- Bill Hall played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

These are my favorites...


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#70

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:19 AM Post
Posts: 516
Bill Hall feels only pity for Mr. T

Bill Hall has made love to your wife - You still love Bill Hall

WMD in Iraq = Bill Hall's annual Iraqi Baseball Camp. This is George Bush's folly.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#71

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:20 AM Post
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Quote:
These are my favorites...


A good portion of those are Chuck Norris ones with Bill Hall's name in his place. The best, in my opinion, are the ones that relate to baseball. Then you know they're authentic (and true, of course).


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#72

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:27 AM Post
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A good portion of those are Chuck Norris ones with Bill Hall's name in his place. The best, in my opinion, are the ones that relate to baseball. Then you know they're authentic (and true, of course).


Yeah, its too early in the morning for me to be original.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#73

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:39 AM Post
Posts: 516
We're going to have to stop pretty soon... because things will start to go down hill...

(As I typed that, Bill Hall just slapped me and called me a worthless mother trucker and a liar. I now have the # 2 imprinted into the side of my forehead).


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#74

Posted: May 11, 2006, 1:48 AM Post
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- Hitting with Bill Hall on MLB 2006 makes the X-Box implode.
- Bill Hall is the only man in history to turn an unassisted quadruple play.
- Bill Hall corks his bat with Kryptonyte to create an equal playing field.
- A cow's Nirvana is being made into a baseball that may be hit by Bill Hall's bat.
- For Geoff Jenkins' birthday, instead of bringing a stripper into the clubhouse, the rest of the team convinced Bill Hall to show Geoff his bicep.
- Bill Hall performed a Cardassian mind-meld on Javon Walker yesterday, convincing Walker to never speak ill of Brett Favre again, who is Bill Hall's son.
- John Holmes breaks in Bill Hall's jocks.
- Bill Hall once hit an inside-the-park home run after hitting a medicine ball with a wiffle bat.
- Rickey Henderson, breaking a streak of 25 years of referring to himself in the 3rd person, has begun calling himself "Bill Hall".
- Very few know that the Red Sox offered a clone of Ted Williams in a straight up trade for Bill Hall in February, but Doug Melvin flat out refused it. Theo Epstein attributed the trade denial to the ghost of Babe Ruth striking again, but there's no way that's true. Babe is too scared of Bill Hall to even appear in the same sentence as him.
- Bill Hall's contract has an incentive clause simply labeled "stud fees".


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#75

Posted: May 11, 2006, 2:04 AM Post
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After Brewer pitcher Ben Sheets lands on the DL for the fourth time in less then two years, Bill Hall lays hands on Sheets and turns him into the Bionic man. Hall states " Sheets is good to go till the next millennium "

Image


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#76

Posted: May 11, 2006, 2:16 AM Post
Posts: 62
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"i said drop it!"


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#77

Posted: May 11, 2006, 2:29 AM Post
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Billy as a baby

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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#78

Posted: May 11, 2006, 3:11 AM Post
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-Bill Hall doesn't pop out, he hits the ball around the world and it just happens to stop in the outfield...on its 5th revolution.

-Bill Hall's groundballs turn natural grass into field turf.

-Bill Hall doesn't chew tobacco. Tobacco is for sissies. Bill Hall chews asbestos.

-Bill Hall didn't toil in the minor leagues, he actually is a natural lefty who was teaching himself to hit right-handed out of fairness to the league.

-Davy Lopes, and Jerry Royster were allowed to live after Bill Hall fired them. They are the only known men to have crossed Bill Hall and lived to talk about it...Bill Hall is merciful.

-Bill Hall's throws produce enough energy to light the entire US.

-Bill Hall thinks we should drill in ANWR so he can take a break from powering the world.


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#79

Posted: May 11, 2006, 3:16 AM Post
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Finish him!


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Offline  Can Bill Hall Pitch?
#80

Posted: May 11, 2006, 3:39 AM Post
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Posts: 527
-Chicks dig the long ball...because Bill Hall invented it.
-Bill Hall gets has a bonus built into his contract if he slaughters less than 7 pitchers in one season
-Bill Hall once pitched a perfect game. During a postgame interview, a reporter asked him how it felt to be perfect and Bill responded, "I'm used to it by now."
-"Greenies" are merely Bill Hall's kidney stones.
-Bill Hall widdles his own bats from live redwoods...with his teeth.
-Bill Hall once won the MVP, Rookie of the Year, and Cy Young awards in both leagues while playing shortstop in high school.
-Double headers were invented in an attempt to tire out Bill Hall...the idea failed miserably


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